Gone
by ROSSELLA1
Summary: Justin realizes that Jenner is gone.


Gone

By ROSSELLA1

Note: I do not own Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH, the Secret of NIMH, or any of their characters. This contains elements from the book but relies more heavily on the movie. Written to fill this prompt on the kink meme:He's sure Jenner wasn't always like this. He used to be different...almost nice. And even if he'd never loved Justin, surely there was some affection for him. But, as he looks into Jenner's green eyes, Justin can see that any good parts Jenner ever had are gone.

Jenner hadn't always been like this. He hadn't always been a crazed psychopath who refused to listen to reason. In fact, Jenner had used to be quite...well, nice. Back in the Farmer's Market, Jenner was the rat that all of the others looked up to. He was handsome, clever, and always had time for everyone. If one of the younger rats wanted to find out where the freshest trash was kept, Jenner was the one to go to. If a rat needed help evading the humans, Jenner would help him or her. He was everyone's friend. Big Brother. And, for Justin, crush. How could the younger rat not be taken with the dashing and fearless older rat, who never seemed to look down on those who were clearly beneath him?

But, then, Jenner had changed. They had all changed. NIMH happened. They were held captive and tortured for over a year and none of them remained unscathed. All of them escaped from NIMH with psychological scars. Of course, most of those scars healed over time, but not Jenner's. Looking back, perhaps Justin should have seen this. Maybe if he had, he could have prevented...well, this. But he hadn't and that was all that mattered.

After their escape from NIMH, the rats had spent months being homeless. Stealing food from dumpsters to live. Breaking into grocery stores and attempting to convince the rats that already lived in those places to share. It had been a hard and difficult period of time. Most of them hadn't cared, still being drunk on freedom. However, Jenner had never seemed content during this period. He was reluctant to share with anyone outside their group and, when conflict with wild rats erupted, he was more likely to opt for violence than for diplomacy. For selfishness than for sharing. And if Jenner didn't get his way, he'd fume for so long that none of the rats were happy and would often give in just to put an end to the strife. Perhaps Justin should have seen this as a sign that the rat he had looked up to as a child was fading. But he didn't. Because he was too distracted with his own joys.

While everyone else looked up to Nicodemus, Jenner seemed more interested in Justin. And Justin basked in the attention. After all, as Jenner pointed out, it had been Justin who had engineered their escape and, while Justin didn't begrudge Nicodemus the leadership, it was nice to have his efforts recognized. Especially by one who Justin had always held in such high regard. With Jenner constantly praising Justin's resourcefulness and Justin's admiration and (he'd admit) even worship of Jenner, the two had become fast friends. Justin was more than happy to fuel Jenner's vanity with compliments and loyalty while Jenner never seemed to have a bad word to say to Justin. And if Jenner was harsh and sometimes cruel to others? Well, no one was perfect and they'd been through much. Surely Jenner would return to his old self when the rats were able to find a home of their own.

And sure enough, when the Rats of NIMH arrived at the Boniface Estate, Jenner's demeanor had...well, it hadn't reverted to the way it was when they had been children, but it hadn't grown worse and, as there was plenty to go around and few important decisions to be made, Jenner's selfishness and domineering attitude had no need to rear their ugly heads. They had returned when the rats had been forced to leave the Estate, but then none of the rats were happy at having to return to a nomadic life-style. And Justin was distracted by a change in his and Jenner's friendship.

It happened one night when it was cold out and the rats had to huddle together by a small fire for warmth. Justin had ended up next to Jenner and, as they were now best friends, neither felt any compunction against drawing the other into an embrace. They'd fallen asleep like that and, upon awaking the next morning, in a still hazy state, they had kissed. The two had immediately broken apart after realizing what they were doing and things had been awkward for several days after that. But, eventually, they had simply missed each other. They fell into an odd form of relationship that was somewhere between friends and lovers. To this day, Justin still isn't sure what it was. Most of the time, they merely talked and worked together but sometimes...they did more.

And then they had found the Toy Tinker's van and had managed to convert the cave under the rosebush into a home. And Justin and Jenner had had a year of a blissful relationship, if not life. But, of course, that that would last was too much to hope for. There was a certain amount of unease among the rats. Few among them enjoyed stealing from Farmer Fitzgibbon and, eventually, the Plan was introduced. And, to Justin's surprise, Jenner opposed it. Jenner argued that it wasn't stealing because they were superior to the humans. That the humans had hurt the race of rats for so long that what they were taking was their due. That they had a good life in the rosebush and that they had no need to move.

At first, these protestations only occurred occasionally. While the Plan was in its beginning stages, Jenner had been content to make the occasional outburst and, while this point of contention upset Justin, it seemed like their relationship could survive this. After all, every couple had disagreements and surely Jenner would come around to the idea after he'd seen how wonderful Thorn Valley was. But, then, as time went on, the opposite occurred. Instead, the further along the Plan came, the more opposed to it Jenner seemed to grow. And, worse, while Justin tried to keep their arguments professional, Jenner seemed to be determined to make them personal. The final straw came when Jenner insulted Justin personally in a meeting and then continued to do so when they were alone.

Finally, Justin was forced to admit to himself that the rat he was with and the rat who he had idolized were two completely separate creatures. He had called Jenner to his room to speak in private and had told Jenner that he wanted to break things off. The older rat coolly accepted Justin's rejection with an indifference that hurt worse than any name Jenner could possibly call him.

After their break up, things between Justin and Jenner deteriorated to the point where they barely spoke anymore, unless it was to argue over the plan. Jenner was unrecognizable from the kind, caring rat that Justin remembered from the Farmer's Market. Jenner was now cold, cruel, and didn't mind hurting anyone if it helped him.

But Justin hadn't believed that Jenner was capable of murder. Now, as Justin stares into the maniacal green eyes that once looked on him with gentleness, Justin knows that there is nothing he can do. Any remnants of his old lover and friend are gone. As Jenner slashes at Justin with his sword, Justin knows that he'll have to kill his own hero.


End file.
